*Warning--pretty long post ahead. I think.
I read a blog post today which really had my mind going today...and frankly it's tired.
So, I'm going to release it all right here, so bear with me. :)
This girl, I'll call her Grace, which of course is not her real name, has a blog I read every other day or so. It's a pretty wild blog, and she's very open about her life. Her family does not know about it. Until now.
A friend of a friend found it somehow and of course shared it with her family. She was pretty upset about it.
She had three decisions to make. Take it down? Edit it? Or say f*ck it and leave it up. She decided on the latter. I was pretty impressed.
One thing she said though that really got my brain going was that she wasn't willing to give up her blogging friends. Wow.
Our blogging friends. This whole concept, as I've thought about it all morning, is really amazing.
We've all made friends through our blogs. Some we know well, some we don't.
Some of us share our blogs with family/friends. I don't. My hubs knows about my blog but doesn't read it. I could bet you money he doesn't even remember the title of it.
Why don't I share this with friends/family? There's nothing that exciting on it.
Some of us use our real names, some don't. We laugh together, we cry together, we worry. We miss you when you're gone. We send prayers when you're sick. We send gifts and cards. And we've NEVER met. (Well some of us anyway)
I can go a couple of weeks not really noticing or caring if a real-life friend calls. But I sure notice if a blog friend is gone for a few days. We all do. If someone doesn't post for a few days, we all wonder why. Are they sick? Did something happen? Are they upset with me? Did I offend?
Why is that? Why are we so concerned about people we don't really know? Do we really know each other? I talk to some of you on a pretty regular basis. Some of you know me very well. Some might even know things about me that no one else knows. And, I only know you through this monitor in front of me. Will we ever meet? I know there's a possibility I might meet some of you. And then there's a few I know I will never meet. So why do I share this information with you? How do we build a trust with online friends that feels more secure then with people we know in real life? I've talked to some that don't even use their real name. I've shared information I would never tell a real-life friend. You'd be surprised what goes on in this little head of mine sometimes.
It boggles my mind.
I read another post today of a girl who has her main blog, and then she has a complete seperate one without any personal information and this one she just spews whatever she wants. Nobody knows who she is. I've thought about doing this. Complete freedom. But of course, there's a whole new set of blog friends.
We'd like to say we blog for ourselves, and maybe some of us do. But I like talking to you. I post pictures for you. I try to be funny, even though I know I'm horrible at it. I don't always comment on the blogs I read because I either don't have enough knowledge of what your posting about, no experience, or don't feel like my input would make sense. I'm one of those people that thinks I sound stupid. Just one fault of my many. But that's a whole different posting subject.
Anyway. Blog-friends, let me just say I appreciate you. I've had so much entertainment and laughter from you. You boost my ego daily with my photos and you make me smile:) I look forward to reading about you daily, and look forward to hearing from you too.
I have more friends in blogworld then I've ever had in real life. And I definitely like ya'll better.
24 comments:
I think we post things on our blog for two reasons.
1. As we type our stories, we must make some sort of coherence out of our chaotic thoughts. Blogging helps us nail down the why, the what, the how...
2. It also helps us nail down the legal penalty for what we wish we could do sometimes...someone always tells us how long we'll be in jail for...
No, #2's a joke.
The real #2: We know that as others read us, we'll be speaking to the same chords of personality and intelligence that we read in their posts. It's group therapy, but there's no annoying comptroller asking stoopid questions like, "And when he insulted you by saying you stunk, how did you feel?"
There isn't a need for the referee. Decent folk referee themselves; indecent folk find themselves unable to speak, since ultimately we can choose who we listen to when necessary.
Sorry for such a long comment, but I appreciate you too :)
i do the same. writing anonymously frees the soul. you won't find my name anywhere on my blog either, but there are people who swear they've known me for forever. the feeling is mutual on my part. i like it much better. i (usually) don't even allow comments.
This is such a great post Leesa. Lately I've felt like I hold back on mine for a lot of reasons. I think you summed blogging up very well here. Thanks for posting this, I really really enjoyed reading it.
I was thinking about this recently too.. esp. being so new to the blog world.
And I think Sera made a great point... it's close to group therapy, and yet it's a place where we can be ourselves, even if anonymously. So if we're writing for ourselves or for others, it doesn't matter... we're making people smile, we're lifting spirits, we're making a difference and we have a safe outlet and a space to work things out.
My family doesn't know about my blog, but more importantly, B's family doesn't know. And I don't say B's name for good reason's. In short, in the blog world, unlike the real world, we get to make up our own rules.
I always appreciate your blog, and what you have to say, and also the fun things you share. Your 100 Things was what hooked me. The honesty of it. Thank you for all you share. :)
~S
Very true Leesa. I'm posted a little bit about this in the past. I think most 'bloggers' have given some thought as to why they blog, and how it is we feel so welcomed and un-judged (is that a word?!) here. I know I enjoy making my daily 'rounds' of blogs I enjoy - and emailing with a few. I think we have a pretty good sense as to a person's personality through their blog - hence we trust, miss, pray for, laugh with and even contact outside of blogland. Of course -there is that cynical suspicious part of me that wonders if someone's blog is even 'real' or is it all just a ruse - to suck me in and find me vulnerable. But - that is MY problem .... and I guess it's only a problem if I let it be. Thanks for this post. I thoroughly enjoyed it. (BTW, my husband knows I blog, though he's never read it ... but not another soul - no other family or friends know I do this, and I prefer it that way. It's MY time, MY 'therapy'.)
I meant "I've" posted about this before! I should proof before posting!
Aww c'mon, we all know the reason we blog is so we can get frustrated with our computers when they don't work and when Blogger is misbehaving.
It's all about lessons in patience!
I believe we form closer relationships with people online in a faster time frame because we aren't burdened with the weight of physical acceptance. Text is text.
For some, they look to the internet as another outlet to be social. Reasons X, Y, and Z keep them from being able to do all the things they'd like to do in the tangible sense. So blogging and or other internet activities allows the user to enhance their social butterfly nature. It brings the world right into your lap, and it doesn't care if you're wearing pjs or a suit, or ~cringes at the thought~ if you're naked.
For others, the internet allows you to escape. The unhappy teenager, the social recluse who really has tremendous anxiety in tangibly social situations, the open arms of the Internet that someone can turn to who's in an unhappy marriage, or a place to vent off your wrong doings or insecurities that you keep tucked away secretly. After all, there's only so much a person can take - the internet allows for safe release without forcing confrontation. It gives feedback and support in helping you take action in the tangible world. And you can always walk away or hit your 'power' button and you can end the discussion.
Are the friendships any less real? That probably depends on the people involved. I've met some absolutely fantastic people online. People that I'm still wonderful friends with. And then again, I've met some rather scary and pretty interesting people who had not been themselves online and we're after who knows what with the contacts they'd made.
But I do hold to the belief that we meet people for a reason. People will come and go from our lives until our last breath is taken. Some will stay just for a short while, and others will stay for quite a long while, but each person plays some role in helping us grow.
Great post, Leesa :)
Truly,
Insanity Infusion
Yeah My hubs knows I have a blog and doesn't know the name of it. I don't share it with family either cause well what if I do wanna let go of some steam and vent it out. I don't wanna hurt their feelings but I do wanna feel better by getting it out. I feel the same way about my bloggin friends and I am always amazed how caught up I get in other peoples lives, people I have never met and may never meet. I blog cause it helps me feel better. Sure when I started it was for me, but now its like I write letters to my friends through my blog. lol Now I work to make my blog look pretty for my friends, I am addicted to blinkies that tell my story if you look at all of them then you know who I am what I like what I love, and my hobbies.
Thank you so much for your comments on this subject. It does baffle the mind how we can develope such great friendships with people we only know through what they post. But really, I think you wrote some great points that we all have thought about a time or two.
And don't ever be afraid to speak up on my blog. Even though you might think you're not funny or don't have anything to offer, you'd be suprised how wrong you can be on that.
BTW, I so love your photos. I try to make pictures with words 'cause I have no photo or artistic talents and appreciate those who do.
Doug
Well said, Leesa. It is rather mind-boggling, isn't it? I actually refer to people I've never met, as friends.
I would be hoorified if anyone I know found my blog. For that reason I do not have an archives link. If anyone ever found it they would only be able to read my last five posts.
I know I'm the old one here, but didn't we all have a journal (or a diary) when we were growing up, something that no one else knew about but where we bared our soul. The only difference here is we're letting some of our new friends read our journals. And from that, I have grown to adore you Leesa as a wonderful friend. I am convinced we will meet some day.
I concur.....and back at cha babe!!! M
This is such a great post. I am feeling guilty that I've taken a few days off . . . like I've done something wrong. Weird, right? I feel like I don't blog about everything because now I sound like a whiner. So, is it about me anymore or what people will think? Thanks so much for sharing. Your comments on my pics have always made me feel so so great. Thanks.
Leesa,
I've followed your blog for a long time now and have seen many changes in you since the first post I read. You seemed so much more reserved in your posts and pretty introverted. I really don't see that anymore, at all. It's almost like some walls have come down for you and you are liking being in your own skin more. (If that makes any sense??)
For me, it's an outlet too. I can't keep up with it, as I used to be able to...work is too busy, dial-up at home, my kids, etc. But it is something that I really enjoy and look forward to doing, whenever I can.
It's really nice to be able to relate to people who are going through or feeling what you are. It's great to be uplifted and be caught up in someone else's fiascos...so that you know everyone has their share of "moments" too!
I am one of many who also has 2 blogs. My daily adventures is the one that you and many others read, another is dedicated strictly to my boyfriend. I created that one, so that I could keep a log of things we do, trips we take, even just the little things...silly things he may say or funny things that happen. I can vent there and also tell him my deepest thoughts and feelings, when things maybe aren't the best between us. It truly is therapy!
I know that I love my blogging friends and don't know what I would do without some of you! It may not be "friendship" in the traditional sense, but hey, look how many bloggers are out here...either we are all prone to addictions (such as blogging...lol), or there is really something to this blogging community, why would everyone be doing it if there wasn't?!
I also really love your pics. Just went through almost all of them last Friday...I couldn't stop! They are beautiful!
Have a great night and sorry this was so damn long! LOL
you put into words my thoughts exactly, none of my real life friends understand connections that can be made via blogs, but I haven't many real life friends and i've expanded my circle of friends far and wide with my blog, i suppose its a bit like penpals but on a different medium...its such a great post
*hugs*
That was an awesome post, Leesa...I think a lot of us feel the very same way. (I must admit, the last two lines of that post is EXACTLY how I feel!:)
Wow. I wish I had read this yesterday. You & I are along the same wave lengths regarding this ~ I posted something in a *small* way, similar this morning ~ the important feeling of having y'all in my life. Amazing post, amazing comments. You have a great bunch of blog friends.
I'm forever grateful that I "met" you. And hopefully one day, in real life.
M~
First off I love the new background (makes me miss the snow)till I go to the beach tonight :) I blog for no one but myself.
This is a very thought-provoking post, Leesa. I personally enjoy making blogfriends, and like you, I like many of my blogfriends way better than some of the backstabbers I've come across in "real life" -- and I'm very glad that I happened to find you in the blogosphere. :)
I am a day late and a dollar short I know but this is a central thought amoung a lot of bloggers. I don't pretend to know the answers and I would guess there are as many reasons as there are bloggers too.
The part that swirls through me is whether this is a pretend game or a real connections with people. Are we simply trading attention because we need it so desperately or is there the ability to reach a part of people that we cannot sometimes reach face to face?
I write things I sometimes cannot say. I share things in an honesty that may de-rail a physical relationship. we open up wider because we feel safer out of touching range. We know we can always disappear.
Saying all that there are some bloggers that I would do just about anything for. I appreciate them as well.
Take Care
Michael
Thanks for this post. I guess a lot of bloggers think about these things. I tell my husband and best friend funny stories that I read on blogs, but they don't really get it. In a way, I feel a little voyeuristic, and I like it. I don't know y'all, but I've always been fascinated with people's lives, day to day things, incredible stories, all those kinds of things. Although I know I'm not the best "writer" I really enjoy my blog. I thought it would be a fun way to share my stories with strangers and family alike. Sometimes, though, I really wish I had kept it "anonymous." I have lots of things I'd like to vent, but can't because I don't want to hurt some people who read it...But I don't have the energy or patience to start up another blog...
Anyways, sorry for the long comment, but I wanted to let you know that I really enjoy your blog (Especially the enticing pics of Montana)!
Wow, there was a lot of comments to read thru so if I am repeating I do apologize for I only skimmed thru them.
That said, I know for myself blogging is a release of grand proportion. It goes back to that ideal that it's easier to talk to a stranger then those your closest to for many reasons but mainly for the sounding board without judgment and w/o fear of hurting anyone's feelings. My partner knows about my blog and she checks in on occasion and I've had to watch myself to NOT monitor what I say for this is my space; this is our space. If they don't like it - change the channel, surf another page, or just turn it off. But she understands what it is and yes, it is our group therapy. I've become so addicted to this and I have you among others to thank for that. You're all truly wonderful. I too, appreciate you - all of you. Thank you for sharing!
I had been wondering about this lately, too. Why do we sometimes seem to care more about our blog friends than our real life friends? Maybe it's because as you get older you see less and less of the friends you know? We're all busy with our daily lives.
But your blog friends are almost always accessible. They're there every single day. And for the most part, whatever annoying habits we all have, unless it comes across in our blogs you never even know about it. Farting, burping, body odor, bad breath, neglected appearance, it's all invisible on the blog.
But then I've noticed one other thing, too. You can be really tight with a blog friend for weeks, and then suddenly realize you two haven't talked for a long time. Maybe you didn't notice because you were busy at home or had started reading a new blog that caught your interest? Or maybe they temporarily quit blogging because of family problems at home? Somehow these blog bonds we form seem to come fast and go fast.
I've even had some blog friends that suddenly dropped from sight with no explanation. They were just gone. That's always a weird feeling, but you find yourself talking to someone else soon enough, engrossed in how fascinating or funny this new blogger is.
Then again, there are some blog friends you hold on tight to. I'm starting to think there are only so many really good blog friends you can have. More than that and you start to neglect the others. But that may just be me.
One thing I can tell you, if you suddenly find everyone's images blocked on your computer by your boss it sure changes things. It's like being a blind kid in high school. Everyone is having fun, but you can't see what's going on.
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