My Resume

*My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory,
but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.
*Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack,
but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
*After that, I tried to be a Tailor,
but I just wasn't suited for it -
mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
*Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory,
but that was too exhausting.
*Then, I tried to be a Chef -
figured it would add a little spice to my life,
but I just didn't have the thyme.
*I attempted to be a Deli Worker,
but any way I sliced it,
I couldn't cut the mustard.
*My best job was being a Musician,
but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
*I studied a long time to become a Doctor,
but I didn't have any patience.
*Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory.
I tried but I just didn't fit in.
*I became a Professional Fisherman,
but discovered that I couldn't live
on my net income.
*I managed to get a good job working
for a Pool Maintenance Company,
but the work was just too draining.
*So then I got a job in a Workout Center,
but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
*After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian -
until I realized there was no future in it.
*My last job was working in Starbucks,
but I had to quit because it was
always the same old grind.
**SO, I RETIRED AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!