I tried to shut down last night, early.
I shut down the house, this computer, and even the TV. All before midnight, which is new for me.
I've decided that my body has just adjusted itself to 4-5 hours of sleep a night. Those 4-5 hours are good sleep, I don't toss and turn, I don't wake up several times. If I fall to sleep around 3 or 4, I wake up around 7 or 8. Sometimes even 9am.
So, for a couple of nights I had tried to go to sleep around midnight, which of course I just wake up around 5am. I decided I don't like 5am.. I'd much rather just let my body do what it wants and fall to sleep when it's ready.
Anyway, last night I did try to go to bed early. I was done with the computer, I was done with TV. Easier said than done though. My brain would not shut down.
The silence makes it worse I think. My brain just wants to think. And of course, and someone can tell me why if they want, my brain wants to find all the worries and faults. The failures. The stresses. Those are the things my brain wants to think about at night. I think it just keeps me up longer to worry about the bad things.
Don't get me wrong here, I realize I've got it good. I know I'm lucky, I'm blessed. I remind myself that everytime my brain, or heart rather, wants to be sad. But sometimes, you just can't control what your brain, or heart, wants to do. Lying in the dark with no sound and only a running brain does not help that. That is my time to worry. To rethink failures. To analyize.
Besides the sound of a couple of kittens playing in a box, that is what my brain does at night. (I am impressed though how loud two kittens can be.)
I read on an insomnia website once, that if you're laying there trying to sleep, to imagine different animals in the wrong colors.
Like..blue cat, green cow, purple dog. I tried that. It didn't work. I did eventually fall to sleep, but I was awake at 5am anyway.
I took a trip on the treadclimber, cleaned up the house some, and fed the herds. Now the sun is out and I'm going to head out and try to enjoy it with camera in hand.
And tonight, I will probably be up until 3 or 4am and I'm okay with that. I'm a night person and that is just my time.
And I will let the distractions of TV and internet keep my brain entertained until it's ready to sleep.
It's my brain food, I guess :)
9 comments:
Maybe you're right...maybe that just how your body works, you know?
I think I could be a night owl, given the right situation...but I have to be up no later than 5 AM every morning for work...so I'm in bed by no later than 9:30 or 10:00 at night.
And I HATE it when my mind races like you said your does...and usually, it's about silimar things too. The other night, I kept thinking about what I'd do if I had to live alone ...no husband, no animals, nothing to love. Then that led into what happens when Jezebel gets old and I may have to put her to sleep? Or what if I can't make the mortgage payment next month??? Just crazy stuff....but stuff you CANNOT turn off, no matter what color penguins you think of!
I am in the same boat as you are . . . . I can't relax until 3 or 4 a.m. . . . then up bright and early. I blame mine on Nursing School!!! But I know how you feel (Sadly I've been like this for 7 years now :( . . .). I think my body is just use to it . . . .
I hope you get some sleep. Enjoy your day with your camera, I need to do that also, just no motivation.
Have you tried writing down all the things your mind likes to worry about and analyze at night... then... the next day, attack those worries and thoughts, think of multiple what if solutions, write those down.... then, read it the next night when your mind wants to worry? Everything is a pattern... so, if your mind is programed to worry at night,it will adjust to worrying at 1pm, or 4pm, or whatever. Just a thought. No clue if it would work. :)
~S
kittens in a box??? Pcitures???
Yes, I have become all to familiar with how noisy wee kittens can actually be. :P Little poopers!
I hate when my mind won't shut down and deprives my sleep time with worry. Hate it.
If it's working for you, then run with it. No sense in stressing yourself out over sleep, or lack of thereof.
M~
I've done the exact same routine for three of the four nights this week and it's taken it's toll. Last night I finally stayed with the boyfriend. The sleep I got was good sleep, it just wasn't enough to "catch up". My heart and mind have a thought process of there own on nights like that. Ugh!!!
Boy Howdy! can I ever relate to this!
Stacie
This is why I have to have the tv on
See...what they don't know on that sleep site is that if you picture different colour animals...you would likely want to jump up to get your camera to capture them forever in your lens!:o) I am not suprised it didn't work for ya!:o)
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