"People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dare
Disturb the sound of silence"
You know what I did today?? I took a walk.
I headed outside on this rainy grey day and just walked.
I didn’t want to hear the TV.
I didn’t want to hear the computer.
I especially didn’t want to hear the phone ring.
I didn’t want to hear anything.
Well that’s not exactly right.
I did want to hear the wind blowing through the pine trees.
Have you heard this? It’s a great sound.
I did want to hear the creek down below.
I did want to hear the birds and the horses and the deer running through the snow.
It was raining and it felt great.
Not too cold, about 45 today.
I didn’t even wear a jacket.
The wind blew through my hair, which was the neatest feeling because
My hair hasn’t been this long in a long time. The feeling of it being
blown everywhere was great. It started to get pretty wet too, but that was
Okay with me.
I walked down to my mailbox too, which is almost a half mile away.
I took my camera, but with the rain I was too chicken to pull it out much.
Well nature pleased me even more when I got home.
The power went out. I am now sitting here in the dark, with candles lit
everywhere and typing on the laptop. Thank goodness for battery power.
Usually I don’t like sitting here without power. It’s very dark where I live.
But….today it’s okay. I don’t mind the silence. I welcome it. I welcome the candlelight
I’m typing by. I welcome the sound of Critter purring and sleeping in my lap.
The hubs saw his son today. Funny thing, when his son heard he was coming, he knew something was up. He said he had an odd feeling all day. Just like I had. The minute he saw his Dad, he said he knew. He was almost expecting it.
Hubs said it went well. Thank goodness.
The year anniversary is coming up of the death of his oldest son.
Between the death of his son, the issues with my sister and my mother, and now the death of the mother of his children, this has been a heavy time.
But it all just flows and you deal with it. You realize that this is life and sh*t happens and you move on to the next day.
One thing though, and I know I repeat myself often, it does make you step back and appreciate what you have. It makes you realize how short life can really be and you just have no idea when it might end.
There was a time in my life when I was so unhappy and just thought what’s the point.
But I don’t think like that anymore. I count my blessings, and I do have many.
I’m thankful that I’m healthy. That the hubs is healthy.
That I have a roof over my head and a fridge full of food.
(and I have been without both of those before)
I’m thankful that I have this release that I can type away to my hearts content and share my feelings with those I believe care.
I’m thankful that I could rid myself of those relationships that were toxic in my life.
I’m thankful that I can take the past and realize it’s just that. The Past. It’s over and no point dwelling on it, or using it as an excuse for anything that goes wrong in my life now.
Laura touched on this the other day and it really struck a cord. You can read her post so that I won’t write a novel here, which looks like I already have.
But, I just hate when people use something from their childhood and then blame every problem they have on it. I can’t say that every instance is the same, but for the most part we control what happens in our lives. We make our own decisions. We make our own beds. My sister and I came from the same past, the same mother, the same problems.
I chose to overcome, she weakened. And that’s okay. We all have weaknesses.
She’s dealing now with her problems, but she does NOT blame her childhood. She blames herself and the choices she has made in her life. Which is the way it should be.
Okay…my power just came back on:) But…I’m not turning the TV back on.
I’m not turning the phone back on. I'm not turning the computer back on. I’m still going to enjoy the silence. At least for today.
How many of you stop to enjoy the silence??
13 comments:
It's not the mistakes you make in your life, it's how you respond to them.
It's not the horrible circumstances in your life, it's how you rise to meet them and overcome them.
That seems to be a common theme lately, don't ya think?
I think you had a very spiritual day in a way. So many don't take the time to go inward.
I don't spend enough time in nature which is a mighty shame. Nature always balances me. Thanks for reminding me.
Enjoy your gift of silence.
I love the silence....in fact I blogged about having the house to myself last nite...and how I took a bath so I could hide under the water for more reflection. :) Enjoy your peace ....I envy U walking and hearing just the sound of your footsteps, breath, and nature around U. Thank you for sharing it with us.
You're in a place in your life (figuratively & literally) where you can hear the silence. You have peace in Montana.
You truly are blessed, Leesa.
M~
So reflective. Very beautiful. Thanks for sharing. :)
It's amazing how quiet the house gets when there is no power. It's actually kind of nice to not even have those usually hums - the fridge, the computer, the furnace. Just your own breathing and maybe the ticking of a clock. Oh and the purring of your cat, which is a sound I miss. :)
How important it truly is to live life to its fullest. I think it's only recently that I've grown to appreciate things like sunsets. And yeah, that great feeling of finally having long hair being blown in every direction.
I'm glad to hear everything went well with your husband and his son. I just could not imagine ever having to tell anyone that sort of news.
I crave the silence. I wish I had read this before the post I just wrote...you just made me feel a whole lot better about things..tomorrow is another day. Granted, it's a day I'll likely be climbing up on my roof, but it's hopefully a day at least better than this one was. Take care Leesa..as always, you make me think! Stacie
Pam--perfectly said. I should quote you!
M--A candlit bath, now why didn't I think about that?
Chickie--Very true :)
John--yes, we had very strong winds today..it was great :)
Marel,Manababies,Stacie and Inky--thanks. It is special to learn to appreciate those things easily taken for granted. :)
Wonderful post Leesa. I too got to walk in the woods yesterday, hear the wind in the pines, smell the wet leaves, hear the sound of my boots as they suck out of the mud with each step. I love it. I can be anywhere in the world when I'm out there like that. I can say anything to anyone (in my mind) and release it - I have full conversations in my head - that just make me feel better for having "said" it. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't take time each day to turn inside, to silence all around me, and just embrace all that I have. I give thanks every single day - even for the bad stuff - 'cuz it helps to make me stronger. (though I never like to learn that lesson.) Great post Leesa. Thank you.
I really enjoyed reading this pose Leesa. I like your outlook on life, and wish everyone looked at it the same way. I don't think there is a person on this planet that hasn't struggled somehow at some point. I hope you enjoyed your quiet.
Ha! I am closing my eyes and thinking about what you just wrote and I'm THERE. The quiet..the wind..all of it. I treasure silence more than you could ever know..there is always noise here. And it's good noise, don't get me wrong, but when it IS quiet, I creep around my house on my tiptoes. It's weird...sneaking around MY OWN HOUSE?? DUH!! I'm just so not used to it. Thanks for this...It's like meditation.
I am relieved that it went well for your husband. I can't even imagine what a weight that was to bear having to tell his son that news.
~L.
Lovely post. Very reflective. Maybe I should walk in the rain and ponder some things.
Don't ever question your writing again, young lady. (I had to add that last part just to make you smile.) This was powerful. From our 100 Things About Me, it is obvious we share a lot of history from our childhood. Having grown up down the street from a federal pen, I was always startled when one of the prisoners on death row would say, "My father beat me, my mother was an alcoholic, and my brothers short sheeted my bed. Yah, that's why I killed 14 people." I kept thinking, "Hey my life sucks, too, but I sure don't take it out on others (and I don't own a gun.)" Pam is right. You and I have risen above the circumstances. (Yah us!)
I'm glad to hear that it went well for the Hub (or as well as could be expected under the circumstances). And as Susan Saint James said about her son's death, "It's ok to be sad. It's not ok to be mad."
And I love thinking about you walking in the wind and the snow. That image is peaceful (for those of us without snow).
Nice post :)
And silence?? What's that?? Between having a 2month old and a 2 year old...I've lost track of exactly what silence is...
Truly,
Insanity Infusion
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